Last week, the St. Louis Regional Chamber unleashed the fury of its new regional marketing plan upon an unsuspecting and unprepared world. Together with more than 30 partners, including Explore St. Louis and the St. Louis Civic Pride Foundation, the group unveiled its opening salvo, aimed at investors, visitors and potential residents: a commercial — er, "St. Louis Brand Anthem"— whose narration is so packed with reasons to love this city you'll be able to shatter fucking marble with your enormous civic-pride boner.
The video (embedded below) opens at Lambert International Airport, where a group of successful St. Louisans are seen individually arriving after their flights and boarding the MetroLink.…