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St. Louis County Police Finally Admit Apple Cider Vinegar Is Apple Cider Vinegar

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After weeks of investigation by the super sleuths of the St. Louis County Police Department, lab results have come back today indicating that a bottle full of "unknown chemicals used to against police" (their grammatically confusing words) confiscated during a protest on September 17 did, indeed, merely contain apple cider vinegar.

There had been early clues that this was the case, clues pointed out by astute online investigators on the very evening police attempted to claim the mantle of victimhood.

For example, there was the fact that the bottle was plainly labeled:


Apple cider vinegar, which tastes good on salad and also is a decent topical cure for acne, is often used by protesters to mitigate the effects of tear gas.…

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